assalamualaikum,

actually i feel very nervous to write this because for me, it's quiet privacy, but i'm gonna tell it here, because nobody read my blog.

my first love is my own best friend. he is a good friend. a good listener. my crazy dance partner. laugh at all my jokes. until one day, he say he loves me. at that point, i was 18 years old.it's a very fresh age, and i made a big mistake.

i told him that i also have a same feeling, (eventho i don't even feel i fall in love at that point, for me, you can pupuk minat). and we officially in a relationship at 22 February 2015. my first day as a lover is not bad. i act so silly, and hoping he enjoy my silly thingy, and yeah,he enjoyed it so much.

fun fact is he is my classmate. you know you in a big trouble if you fall in love with your best friend, and also your classmate. for a couple months, we kept our relationship silent, until in May 2015, one of my friend ask me "are you and him in a relationship. guess i don't have to kept it secret anymore, and i told her yes, we are. so this is where the problem start.

one of a member in my "best friends group" in class don't like this kind of relationship. she's taking her time realizing that two of her friends are in love. (make sense laa, macam pelik je dari best friend jadi lover). and finally she "redha" and "terima takdir". alhamdulillah.

at first, our relationship is so smooth and doing well, without any problems. but after 10 months of relationship, he started to texting back his ex-girlfriend, that he called "best friend". yes, that night,i cried a lot, and made my eyes sore and red, i felt bad. i can't take this (it's actually so hard for me, because i never be in love and i can't believe a person that i trust doing this).

there's nothing much i can say about this relationship. because it's a very simple relationship. but, we talked a lot in relationship (because both of us are very chatty person). we just doing a "couple thing" such as otp at th middleof the night, chatting, saying love words, and you know, all couple thingy!

our relationship start to be very problematic after both of us being seperate (because, masa tu nak buat OJT, kami OJT asing-asing), so at that moment i realize, i just bored him because i'm not a good girl friend. i being very sensitive, i cried a lot, i argued with him. and "love words" thing disappear from the diary of my life.

ok, this is the saddest part. on january 2017, i still remembered wi-fi line is so bad that day, and i can't chat him from that evening. he send me his picture, and i'm not replying. i just silent. and at 9 o'clock something, he say his done with me. i remembered how bad i cried that night. i cried whole night. (WHOLE NIGHT, SERIOUSLY??)

so, that's my story about my first love. even tho, i'm his once upon a time, but i guess i'm not his happily ever after. so sad, but it's true.

moral of a story : fall in love with your best friend in your own risk. but, if you not ready to losing your best friend, don't ever try this,it's horrible. i miss he as my best friend, not my lover.

kbaii.